


Invisible, Unbreakable

by Happy_shipbuilder28



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Forgiveness, Reconciliation, Season/Series 05, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 19:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20069149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_shipbuilder28/pseuds/Happy_shipbuilder28
Summary: Bellamy's thoughts after he put the flame in Madi's head and his anguish over his broken relationship with Clarke.





	Invisible, Unbreakable

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this quickly with no Beta. It's my first fic ever so please be kind! Tell me what you liked and what you thought could be better!

The moment her palm connected with his face his heart was in a freefall. His head, the part of him that he'd built up and come to trust over the past 6 years, told him that he made the right call. Putting the flame in Madi's head would save them all. But his heart was screaming,  _ "at what cost?" _

In her eyes he could see their invisible bond, years of carefully crafted bridges, burned in an instant. 

And he knew there was no coming back from this moment. 

So he compartmentalizes. He lets his brain take over and works to survive and save what's left of his family. Protect what's left of humanity. 

  
  


And then.

  
  


_ "Do you have any idea how much she cares about you?" _

A lifeline. 

_ "When you were on the ring, she called you on the radio every day for 6 years." _

He can't control the way his body turns, the way his eyes search her face. To see if he can find the truth of Madi's words written there. 

And that's when he sees it. The concern and mingled shame on her face. And his heart can feel it, their bond, thin and fragile as spider silk. 

But it's there.

And in a flash the freefall stops. He remembers what it was that forged their bond in the first place. Forgiveness. That's what they've always offered to each other. Forgiveness, even when it's undeserved.

The Apocalypse approaches swiftly and he is swept up in the chaos of boarding the transport ship. So many refugees, so much trauma. How in the world will they bounce back from this? 

But when he sees her in the hall, post surgery, with Murphy's blood still on her clothes, he feels nothing but relief. The anger, the hurt, the pain he expects to find has been washed away. Life is too short to hold a grudge. 

He is uncertain how to proceed, how to explain the conflicted thoughts in his mind. His heart may have forgiven her in an instant, but his head distrusts. There is an ocean of water under this bridge and he's not sure how to fix it. 

So he starts small.  _ "We're deciding the fate of the human race… again. You should be there." _ A joke and a reminder of all they've been through. Together.

And just like that a second strand joins the first, twining and strengthening as it goes. It gives him hope that all is not lost between them.

Then they wake from cryo-sleep to find a brave new world on their doorstep and he is so impossibly thankful to have her by his side again. Thankful for a second chance. 

Not everyone is so understanding. He tries to mediate and shield her from their harsh remarks. He understands that they all have to work through issues of their own. But his heart quakes as he sees the way their biting comments cut into the tender parts of her. How can they not see how vulnerable she is? That her shell is a facade and her heart bleeds with every word.

Then she runs into that damn radiation fence to save Shaw and his heart stops. He's left feeling queasy and weak kneed as they collapse inside the safety of Sanctum.  _ But she's ok, _ his head reassures his thundering heart.  _ She's ok. _

After the delirium of the eclipse wears off he is horrified. The stab wound in his leg is nothing compared to the pain of realizing that the bruises around her neck were put there by his own two hands. He's a mess inside but there's no time to make amends. It seems like there never is. 

When Russell tells them to send their most "disposable" people to recover the transport ship and she steps forward, something cracks inside him. He knows what it is to believe that you are dispensable. Worth nothing to the people around you. Disposable.

_ "None of us are," _ she says. But he knows she'd sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if she thought it was the only way to save her people. To save her family. 

So when Russell asks if she's the leader there, he backs her. And for a moment, primefiya and the fighting pit in Polis never happened. They are shoulder to shoulder and ready to lead. She needs to know that she's indispensable too. At least to him. 

He tells her it's the smart choice that she stay behind. That she's the better diplomat and Russell seems to like her. But honestly he can't tell if he made this decision with his head or his heart. So he stops over analyzing it. 

Their fragile bond grows infinitesimally stronger. Another silken strand added. They are rebuilding bridges atop the ashes of the past.

As he walks away through the carefully cultivated fields of Sanctum he allows himself one last look back. Given their tumultuous history he has no right to be this uncomfortable leaving her behind. Or maybe that's backwards. Maybe he has every right to be concerned about their temporary separation. So much can happen in the blink of an eye. He's grateful to see a tiny, solitary figure watching the recovery party as they depart. 

She's trusting him again. With Madi, the most precious person in her life. He doesn't miss the fact that she's giving him a second chance. God he hopes he won't screw this up. 

But he doesn't. Even though his psycho sister goes rogue, he still saves Madi and brings her back to Sanctum. Back to her Mom. The relief and smile on her face and the brightness in her blue eyes makes his oppressive guilt over leaving Octavia just a tiny bit lighter. And their bond strengthens yet again. 

Then it's Naming Day and this new culture has a bundle of different customs they must participate in. Diplomacy has never been his strong suit. He's always been a man of action. But he trusts her when she insists that to opt out of the celebration would be to insult their hosts. So he follows, a reluctant Echo trailing behind.

There are so many smiling faces. Their easy smiles and emotional transparency makes him uncomfortable. When Russell tells the community to hug their neighbors and make amends he takes it as his cue to find someplace to be out of the way. 

He heads back to the tavern and finds a place by the bar where he can watch the crowd, especially the kids. Their laughter soothes his troubled heart. So does the sight of that curly blonde head as she mingles with the people of Sanctum and participates in their customs. 

When she approaches and begins to apologize for leaving him in Polis his heart seizes. He's not sure if he wants to stay and hear her out or make a run for the door. He's forgiven her, but he's not ready for this conversation. They never talk about feelings. It's an unspoken rule. To put words to their bond would be too vulnerable. Instead they've become adept at saying how they feel through action rather than words. 

_ "You're my family too." _

The honesty and openness of her declaration takes him by surprise. Her family. Family. She'd do anything for her family. He would too.

_ "You're too important to me." _

Tears jump unbidden to his eyes and he can feel his heart in his throat. Did he know she felt that way? When was the last time someone had said he was important?

_ "It's worth the risk." _ She'd said all those years ago as she sent him into a pit of snakes. And maybe that sentiment had stuck in his psyche way too long. 

But she'd bargained away half of the Ark for his survival when Azgeda held an arrow to his chest. In the bunker she'd pointed that gun at him, she'd even taken a shot. But she hadn't killed him. When he stood between humanity's certain survival and an uncertain future with possible death, she'd put down her gun. She'd risked the uncertainty rather than see him dead. That had to count for something, right? 

But then came Polis, Madi, and the fighting pit. He'd lost hope. Had he always been as important to her as she is to him? 

_ "Clarke…" _ He wraps her in a hug and holds her close.

And all at once he feels it. Their unique bond. Strong and solid as it ever was. He feels his head and heart align as he straightens. They are unburdened. Forgiven. Their mistakes a thing of the past. And their future bright with possibility before them. 

He smiles. 

  
  
  



End file.
